Tuesday, February 3, 2009

H is for Belly Fat

There are plenty of topics that I considered for today's posting. Namely, the need for more hours in the day. Of course, if we had more hours we'd just fill them up with crap. There was also this profound fundamentalist dumbass in my Comparative Religious Studies course who got a resounding kick in the butt from nearly every member of the class - which was flippin' SWEET to witness. And, granted, to be a part of. 

But, at the end of the day, I'd like to talk about something that makes me happier than my puppy in my cat's litter box: Hamburger Helper.

Hamburger Helper, while HORRIBLE for my health and diet, is a miracle and a saving grace on busy days such as today. I had to prepare 2 book reports, in fact read a whole book, write a paper...in Spanish, go to 3 classes, study for 2 tests, research financial aide for grad school, start my grad school application, visit with 2 professors, and still find time to breathe. 

My small comfort today? 3 cheese pasta with a little over a pound of spicy ground beef. It was HEAVEN! Its creamy cheesiness enveloped my stomach lining not once, but twice (there was more than enough for seconds both at lunch and dinner). Whoever invented Hamburger Helper absolutely deserves an eternity in paradise with 50 new virgins a day, everyday, in a pleasure garden filled with a chocolate fountain, personal masseuse, and 24-hour pizza buffet - none of which causes you to gain a pound, and actually enhances 6-pack abs!

hmm.... Given that idea.... Maybe I should invent a convenience food. Oh screw that idea. Still not enough hours in the day. 

My eyes are heavy and want to sleep. I shall let them, at least for a few hours.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

PS - If you invent a diet that allows me to eat pizza, hamburger helper, and mexican food everyday for the rest of my life and not gain a pound, and have it actually enhance my abs, then I will love you eternally. I realize my love might not be much, but I'd like to think that you'd rather have my love than my money.


What...? You'd rather have money?


WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU!?

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