Monday, April 20, 2009

Biased, East Texas Crap.

So... I'm sitting here in Psychology of Love Relationships listening to this rather........biased........diatribe by a group of very opinionated girls. Their presentation is highly skewed by the notions they have all gotten from their various respective church pastors. They have decided that the research shows that men are to be strong, hard, and without emotion - all because that is how they should be raised. They completely threw away the mountains of research showing that young men need to be raised - or "reared" as they put it - in an emotionally open, freeing situation. It also appears as though the research they did do was wadded up and tossed onto the fire of what they wanted to say. In the psychology world that's called confirmation bias. They only presented the data that fit with their mindset. Granted, they're all young, black, and have a long history of friendship. This seems to have skewed their ability to have created a legitimate research study. (I realize this series of statements makes me a dick. I swear...I'm not racist.)

Their findings:
  1. Men are evil, dumb, and lower evolutionary life-forms than women.
  2. Women are much more highly evolved.
  3. Men do not interpret women's signals correctly, because they're dumb, evil, and on a lower evolutionary rung than women.
  4. This never changes, and is due heavily to the fact that men are raised to be muscular, over-protective cavemen, while women are reared to be refined debutantes.
Oh, and what about the emotional importance of same-sex relationships? All of their questions were opposite-sex biased, and even their class discussion did not allow for the possibility of same-sex interjection. Apparently, we're just not worth discussing.

And their research?! We were supposed to either do an empirical research study or create our own. What did they do? They read an opinionated therapy book written by none other than Steve Harvey entitled Act like a Lady; Think like a Man.

REALLY?!

I'm sorry, but this is utterly ridiculous. While entertaining, I am excruciatingly curious as to what research...done by professionals or gathered from an independent survey...backs any of this up. Could we PLEASE leave our opinions out of this.

Oh wait...

We have Steve Harvey.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

2 comments:

  1. I personally take people individually. If what the fundies say (and admittingly non-fundies as well) is true (men, and women are totally different from one another) then men are naturally "hard", "strong", and emotionless. This implies that women are "soft", "weak", and hysterical...thus needing the protection of "manly" men. I"ve known women to be more "masculine", and men to be more "feminine". I don't agree with the gender labels, just using these terms to explain my view that personality traits have little to do with gender. To me the largest difference between men, and women is biological (estrogen, testosterone) but not emotional, not mental. I suppose there are differing factors: I think some people do try to conform to their culture's view on the sexes regardless if they're really this way or not.

    To me the view that men are to be hard, strong, and without emotion, is outright sexist (on both sides). It is very pressuring to conform to society's idea of what a real man or woman is. In particular I feel men have perhaps a bit more pressure than women do (in certain ways). Boys do need emotionally open, freeing environments. Men are almost afraid to be more emotional, and intimate, especially with one another or so it seems to me (not all men of course!). It's always been said that women form closer friendships with one another compared to male friendships. I figure this is due to a pressuring view of masculinity that in order to be a man you must be without feeling, hard, strong-so you certainly can not reveal your emotions around other men for it will show you're weak, etc.

    Was this class a "feminist" or women's class? I have heard that these classes promote the same view you mentioned in your post: men are dumb, evil, women good, etc. And I am a feminist myself but I'm not a radical feminist (men bad, women good stuff-you know very black, and white view of the world).

    I just discovered you through an article you recently posted on witchvox-I enjoyed the article. It was thought-provoking, and so having liked your post, I decided to check out your blog. It's now saved under my favorites:-).

    Do you have a livejournal account or do you only use blogspot? I use lj.

    Actually, it's sad that these girls truly believe this crap.

    While my fiance looks very strong (he's big-6"3, and has a large bone structure), like the type to bully people around; he's actually a very gentle, and sweet person. He's very emotional too. I love him:-).

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  2. Though I am heterosexual, I don't think it is very fair how many people overlook the importance of homosexual relationships or that you're people with the same desires (to love, and to be loved), emotions, etc. People typically stereotype homosexual relationships, claiming one must play the "man", and one the "woman". I have seen lesbian couples that consisted of a masculine woman (who looked like a guy-short hair, baggy pants, etc), and a more traditionally feminine woman. My fiance has even heard a lesbian couple admit that one is the woman, one the man, etc. Which I had a hard time believing (and did not want to believe as it angered me a bit to know that even some gay couples place such an emphasis on adopting society's view on what a man is, etc) but I know it's true: homosexual men, and women are not any different from anybody else when it comes to sexism, and stereotyping themselves (sad to say). So I figure that means homosexual relationships are not any different from that of straight relationships. Granted, I am not gay so I can't say I fully relate...there may well be a difference that I am not aware of. I have heard it said that some gay men, and women find it easier to relate with the same sex over the opposite but again we are all individuals so I'm not one to judge over gender, etc.

    I'll add to those thoughts: I honestly believe most gay couples do not follow any type of roleplaying/sexism-what I spoke of above is more rare. At least to me it is considering I have known, and have had several gay friends whose relationships were nothing like I described above.

    I am lucky that I have a relationship which is free from sexism, misogyny, prescribed gender roles, etc. My fiance is fine being himself (emotional, gentle, etc), and we work together, etc.

    Some women like guys to be hard but I don't: I want a sweetie who has the soul of a poet. I do have this so I'm blessed:-).

    LOL. Steve Harvey? Haha.

    No, you're not a dick:-). My fiance is African American, and we have a daughter together: so I think my opinion is valid in saying you're not a dick. You're being truthful, that's all.

    Sorry, I ramble too much. Lol

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