Thursday, May 21, 2009

National Waitstaff Day!

In honor of today being National Waitstaff Day (thanks Google homepage), I thought I'd dredge up a poem from my sordid server past. Enjoy.

And, please, tip your waitstaff!

________________________________

I’m not racist, but…

black people don’t tip.
Canadians don’t tip.
Mexicans, typically, travel in packs
of no less than 9 and don’t tip either.
rich people hardly tip.
old people don’t tip much.
George W. Bush is not an intelligent speaker…
and if you think otherwise you’re probably a bad tipper
Yes, I know “George W. Bush”
is not a race. Let us thank God
for that. (and I’m pretty sure
he never has to tip.)
Asians have too much money
and tip a little less than 10%.
fat people tip pretty well.
hot young people tip a dollar.
ugly young people tip great!
gay people tip straight people.
rednecks don’t tip gay people.
and marry their cousins. ☺

but I, honestly, don’t mind serving you
as long as you tip me.

1 comment:

  1. Don! I know that this comment doesn't pertain to you post, but I do read it everyday! If you'll notice in the player at the bottom, 2AM (Breathe) by Anna Nalick is in there.. which was TOTALLY going to be yours! However, I couldn't find a picture that did you justice, and I was running out of time, but if you send me some hotness I'll definitely complete my post! I miss you and those songs are PERFECT!! I love that you know me so well after all these years. I miss you like CRAZY!

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