National Waitstaff Day!

In honor of today being National Waitstaff Day (thanks Google homepage), I thought I'd dredge up a poem from my sordid server past. Enjoy.

And, please, tip your waitstaff!


I’m not racist, but…

black people don’t tip.
Canadians don’t tip.
Mexicans, typically, travel in packs
of no less than 9 and don’t tip either.
rich people hardly tip.
old people don’t tip much.
George W. Bush is not an intelligent speaker…
and if you think otherwise you’re probably a bad tipper
Yes, I know “George W. Bush”
is not a race. Let us thank God
for that. (and I’m pretty sure
he never has to tip.)
Asians have too much money
and tip a little less than 10%.
fat people tip pretty well.
hot young people tip a dollar.
ugly young people tip great!
gay people tip straight people.
rednecks don’t tip gay people.
and marry their cousins. ☺

but I, honestly, don’t mind serving you
as long as you tip me.


  1. Don! I know that this comment doesn't pertain to you post, but I do read it everyday! If you'll notice in the player at the bottom, 2AM (Breathe) by Anna Nalick is in there.. which was TOTALLY going to be yours! However, I couldn't find a picture that did you justice, and I was running out of time, but if you send me some hotness I'll definitely complete my post! I miss you and those songs are PERFECT!! I love that you know me so well after all these years. I miss you like CRAZY!


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