Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Blame Global Warming on Your Horoscope

South Dakota, land of...hmm...never mind, recently passed legislation in a 36-30 vote that will require public schools to present global warming - aka climate change - as a total myth. Well, actually, they're wanting to present "both sides of the issue," much in the same way they present evolution v. creationism. And to further qualify that statement, they present evolution as some weird pseudoscience that has not been proven, while creationism is presented as a belief that has been held for thousands of years by millions of people. (Whether proven or not...get it?)

But, get this... They're requiring teachers to say this about global warming:

...There are a variety of climatological, meteorological, astrological, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect (sic) world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative.

Read that one more time... This time, let's make the important parts a bit bigger so you can tell where I'm heading:

there are a variety of climatological, meteorological, ASTROLOGICAL, thermological, cosmological, and ecological dynamics that can effect (sic) world weather phenomena and that the significance and interrelativity of these factors is largely speculative.



Ahh, yes, the good ol' 'Blame Global Warming on Mercury Retrograde' excuse.
Nothing is our fault. No!!! Global warming has nothing to do whatsoever with the way we're raping and pillaging our globe in order to maintain a lifestyle that is neither necessary nor realistic.

Even better is the, apparently horrendously illiterate, South Dakota legislature's posturing that 'thermalogical' dynamics "effect" (the word is AFFECT - with an A!!!!) world weather phenomena. It took about 2 seconds and a handy Google search to tell me that thermology is "the medical science that derives diagnostic indications from highly detailed and sensitive infrared images of the human body."

I think we can take away a few lessons from this:

  1. Politicians should keep one of those archaic tomes called a dictionary around for those crazy times when they're...I dunno...making legislation that affects millions of schoolchildren.
  2. Mercury Retrograde really IS responsible for all the evils of this world. 
  3. I'm never moving to South Dakota.
Keep your birth charts in order, folks, or you might cause the next global disaster.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

5 comments:

  1. What were they doing...grabbing big, important sounding words that they thought might impress the common folk? Although... my mom did call me a "hurricane" on more than one occasion

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, "astrological." Someone in SD apparently thinks astrology is another word for astronomy because they both involve stars. That's like saying Judaism is another word for Christianity because they both endorse the Ten Commandments.

    Also, I hate to tell you this after your little grammatical tirade, but "effect" can also be a verb. For example: "Repealing the DADT policy will effect a dramatic change in the way minority are treated in the US military." In this case, "effect" is a verb meaning "to bring into effect."

    Another way of saying the same thing is, "Repealing the DADT policy will affect the way minority are treated in the US military." In this case, I use "affect," meaning "to have an effect on."

    So, while "affect" is always a verb and never a noun, "effect" can be correctly used as either a noun or a verb, depending on context. "Effect" just isn't used as a verb very often.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And, I hate to break it to you after you thought you so eloquently put me in my grammatical place, but the word 'effect' was used improperly in this instance. I am fully aware of the usage capabilities, and the sometimes interchangeability, of the two words.

    Strunk & White: http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-50th-Anniversary/dp/0205632645/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267739572&sr=8-1

    It's a beautiful thing.

    FL

    ReplyDelete
  4. I read it as "bring world weather phenomena into effect." In that particular instance, it's capable of being correctly used both ways, depending on what you're trying to say.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Global warming as I learned in Field Science today is a cycle that has been going on before any of us really existed and is still going on today. Then there will be global cooling -_-
    It created the continants.(I cannot spell sorry). I agree it has nothing to do with us and our actions, so politicions whatever quit using unrealistic scare tactics on us. =)

    ReplyDelete