Everyone in my house is asleep. My parents are in the guest room snoozing. My partner is still in bed fighting the waking hours with every ounce of strength left in his eyelids. And I am awake. Actually I've been awake for over an hour now. It's not terribly early, so that doesn't bother me, but still. Everyone else is asleep, and I'm up, and I'm fighting the urge to do a bunch of things loudly. You know: do the dishes by hand with the TV going in one room and my computer playing Xena as loudly as its little Mac speakers will go.
Then everyone will wake up, and waddle into the kitchen with groggy 'do you realize how much noise you're making' faces. It's just because I don't get to see these people. Ever. Like, at all. I want to spend the few days they're here together. If I didn't require sleep, I'd stay up all night and talk with them.
And then that makes me realize how much I took my parents for granted for so many years. How, when times were tough, I told them if they pushed me that I'd leave and they'd never see me again. And I utterly meant it. When I viewed them as some sort of enemy instead of a guiding force. And it's just so silly to think about now. To think that these people, who would rather have every bone in their body broken before they let something bad happen to me, were ever against me is ludicrous. They are my protectors, my friends, my loved ones.
It is so good to be in this space, because, for a long time, I wasn't. WE weren't. And I am ever thankful for that.
So, for now, I will let them sleep.
Ok... For another 10 minutes, and then some sort of noise is going to happen. We've got things to do, people! They can't be sleeping all day!
Love and Lyte,