Did anybody check their resumes?

With voting right around the corner - just a few days - in many states, I have been remiss in mentioning a few of the candidates here on the blog. Perhaps it just comes with getting older and keeping myself more informed of current events, or maybe it's true, but it seems like there's an overly large number of individuals making a mockery of this elections process.

Chief among them, or the best example I should say, is Levi Johnston. He's currently running to become the next mayor of Wasilla, Alaska - a position his pseudo-not-really-mother-in-law once held. However, as it has become completely apparent in the news circuit lately, he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. When grilled Levi admits that he really had no views on any political issues or current events of note. You'd think after his first terrible interview he would have used some of that 15-minutes-of-fame money to hire a groomer (a la Sarah Palin) to train him in policy, current events, and how not to sound like a complete dumbass on camera.

And this guy is getting national news coverage and becoming more famous, which I'm sure was his intention. I'm not really sure what other motivation he could have other than pulling another 'LOOK AT ME!' stunt so as to perhaps get a 16th minute of fame. Who knows, maybe Playgirl will want to give him another go 'round. Mayor McNaked anyone?

But it's not just him. If it were just him then it might be forgiven. It might be expected that the fame whore, almost son-in-law of Sarah Palin - herself a political dunce and famewhore - wouldn't want to give up being a household name without attempting a joke of a mayoral campaign. But no... Sadly there are more.

Sharon Angle of Nevada, the infamous Christine O'Donnell of Delaware, Carl Paladino of New York, and a host of other folks around the country are making bids for public office, and I'm starting to wonder if they're doing it out of care for making the world a better place, or to simply secure themselves a well-paid spot on the Tea Part/Conservative public speaking circuit.

I could write an in-depth analysis of each candidate, citing insane political tactics and outrageous statements made by each, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing about them. They're everywhere! shhh.... Maybe even here!!!

Rioters, make sure you're voting for a candidate based on a balance of qualifications, experience, passion for the position, common sense, and - where possible - a lack of horribly negative advertisements. I think it shows a great lack of personal conviction and belief in your own campaign to so greatly attempt to tear the other candidate(s) down simply to make yourself look better. That's middle school politics, quite literally. This isn't a lunch table.

But, back to my point. When did it ever become okay to get a job that you are so wildly unqualified for and, furthermore, make the position/institution look bad by simply being there? I can't go in and apply to run Apple or Best Buy or NBC or Burberry just because I want the job, and then actually believe that I will get the job, and then actually get it. That's sort of what's happening, except these people aren't just running a company, they're running a country. They're wanting to criminalize abortion ('make lemons out of a lemonade situation' as Angle has said), privatize social security, keep DADT in place, possibly criminalize homosexuality - and masturbation, and the list goes on. It's a list that sounds like a joke, but it's a collective set of agenda points.

And they're scary. Pardon the double negative, but don't not vote for someone simply because I criticize them or their talking points here on the Riot. You should not be voting because of any set of talking points. You should vote because of the aforementioned criteria.

Who are YOU voting for, dear Rioter, and why? Who's your favorite political loony this election cycle?

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte


  1. Where did you get the criminalize homosexuality and masturbation one? Did one of them actually say that?

    That would be wildly against the role government plays in the philosophies of the candidates you mentioned.

  2. The masturbation comment was a sarcastic jab at Christine O'Donnell's views that pleasuring yourself is tantamount to adultery. Nobody said they wanted to criminalize it.

    Both Texas and Montana Republicans have - at one point or another this year - outlined plans to criminalize homosexuality. Are they viable options? No, but I'm merely pointing out Fringy McFringerson ideas/ideals put out there by some of the nut jobs wanting political office.

    And, I would think forcing every woman to have a child (whether the pregnancy happened by rape, incest, health concerns, or other reasons) is a huge example of big government. What kind of small, conservative, Keep your governmental nose out of my life, kind of government is that?

  3. A headline blurb on "On Religion" page the other day said something like:

    If Christine O'Donnell is 'one of us,' then we are DOOMED.

    A lot of the "fiscal conservatives" seem to be (once I sat down and thought through some of the implications in the laws they want to kill off) talking about bringing back the worst of the Robber Barons of the late 19th-century, and instead of the police and regulatory agencies working to arrest the corrupt, the fraudsters, and the crooked, place them firmly under the open control of said Robber Barons.

    Is that really the America that we want to live in? The worst of the societies pictured in such sci-fi stories as Robocop and Max Headroom?

  4. I had forgotten about Paladino's bigoted comments too. Hes acted like such a lunatic in the campaign I've been trying to ignore him.

    On the abortion thing.. you just found where the libertarian minded righties are always fighting. One section agrees with you on it. The other side believes that denying a person the chance to live is the greater infringing on human rights.

    I don't think anything will happen on the abortion front due to any of these candidates though. We have the magic of penumbras and emanations!

    Of the candidates you mentioned, I only really hope Angle wins. Reid has and will do more damage than she could ever do in my estimation.


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