When guys go "Grrrrl!"

Reality television isn't something that I typically watch. I could care less what star is dancing with what pro athlete or what bisexual attention whore is desperately seeking fame on MTV. And then there's a new reality show that Partner really wanted to watch and got me semi-hooked on: The A-List New York. It's basically a Real Housewives but with gay guys.

Really. Queeny. Gay Guys.

Now, I realize the hypocrisy of the gay guy who works in retail/fashion, has the fuzzy pomeranian, the long-term relationship and blah blah blah calling other guys queeny, but there it is. Hate me all you want.

I don't so much have an issue with how any of these guys dress or groom, as you should be able to look however you want in order to feel good about yourself. But, it's the attitude. The gossip-driven, fake friend, z-snapping, drama-filled existence that seems to fulfill every moment of the Queeny Gay Guy's life. It's a horrid stereotype, and one which I am quite glad not to be around constantly - what with not being out in the club/party/etc. scene anymore.

We can embrace our sexuality and our sexual freedom and our liberty and our ability to kick up our heels and love whomever we choose without...you know...calling one another 'Grrl.' That really gets to me. That's one of the parts of the stereotype that crawls under my skin and wriggles around in there. Something about it epitomizes the worst parts of the gay stereotype for me.

Now, I'll admit, I vehemently attempt to distance myself from being the gay stereotype. I am who I am, and I enjoy exploring the facets of my personality and self, but there's a limit for me. And, I am sure it is out of fear. It's the fear left over from being tormented for years about who I am, etc. etc.

But, does that negate the 'one bad apple' argument? So many people have so many negative ideas about the gay community, and the minute gay folks get a reality show all about them...the gay show on the channel chooses to showcase the worst of the stereotypes. Must we? Must they?

What do you think? Is this a mountain out of a molehill that I am making? Or, do I have a point? Or, am I just a gay guy that is, on some level, ashamed of the gayness. (Which...lemme go ahead and alleviate that one with a 'No.')

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte


  1. I actually love that show, when I get a chance to watch it. The stereotype some (not all as far as I saw, but I only saw 2 or 3 episodes) of them fit doesn't bother me, because they aren't at all portrayed as being the norm. These are a bunch of shallow guys who never outgrew high school and live for popularity. Which is what most reality shows are...I can't think of any that don't depend on the people on them being gossipy overgrown children, which is why I usually don't watch them either. So what else is a gay reality show going to focus on?

    But yeah, you have a point, as far as reality shows in general. I really don't know that the world just desperately needed another one of these, and it probably would have been better to fill the time slot with something a little less...this.


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