Friday, November 4, 2011

It's Ghost Sex, of course.

Clearly, this is an example of Ghost Sex. Shield your eyes now.
Huffington Post recently published the best headline ever. Seriously. This is THE GREATEST headline ever published. On any media. Ever.

Ghost Sex At Ohio Haunted House Arouses Interest Of Paranormal Researchers

Euclid, Ohio apparently had some folks living there that were so randy for each other, not even death could contain the heated, animalistic lust lurking beneath their skin. That is, until they died, and their skin could no longer protect the world - and innocent children holding cell phone cameras - from their exhibitionist displays of rabid intercourse.
Dianne Carlisle, the owner of the house, has also claimed that her deceased sister has left messages from beyond the grave on her answering machine. Of course, if you're like me, you might not check your voicemail in so long that you just didn't know your sister had left a message. (Possibly something like, HELP ME HELP ME! I'm being eaten by randy ghosts! In which case, you should feel guilty for causing your sister's death by proxy of cannibalistic sex ghosts.) Naturally, this news has brought out the best and brightest in the burgeoning field of paranormal research.

"This has never been reported before," [David Jones, Ohio-based paranormal investigator] told HuffPost Weird News. "It would be interesting to know more about the house, especially [Carlisle's deceased sister], who supposedly left a voicemail message from the afterlife. However, I don't think that has anything to do with [the sex], but I do wonder how long it's been going on."

Don't we all, David. Don't we all.

The Travel Channel's Amy Allan, star of such non-Emmy-award winning shows as The Dead Files, said "I've never seen two dead people who were conscious entities have intercourse," Allan told HuffPost Weird News. "I have heard of people having sex with ghosts, but not this."

Yes, that is pretty weird. We've all seen Ghost. Corpse Bride. (And dozens of Bruce Campbell movies.) Human-on-Ghost and Ghost-on-Human sex is pretty standard faire, but Casper-on-the-thing-from-Paranormal-Activity?! That's just crazy talk.

My Ghost Faeries (Ep. 17 of IABHH) would be quite miffed to hear this story, as they're not allowed to have sex in my house. At least, not when I'm there. What they do in the privacy of their ghostly void is their business, but to flaunt that lifestyle in the very public arena of my kitchen whilst making cookies is just wrong!

Do, please, enjoy the video below. Do YOU believe in Sexually Ravenous Ghosts?

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

 

3 comments:

  1. Not to stir the Satanic pot again, but if they prescribed to LaVeyan beliefs then I suppose it's possible. In the interest of at least knowing who and what they are, I once did some reading into LaVey's Church of Satan and one of the things I discovered is that they believe after death there is nothing - only the end of awareness, and non-existence. So, to escape this end, LaVeyans believe that by cultivating a love for the material things and pleasures of the world, their spirit will be "anchored" in reality and not vanish into nothingness, and they will be able to continue to live and enjoy a hedonistic lifestyle even after the death of the physical body. I'm generally not a believer when it comes to ghosts, so I doubt they're real, but I suppose anything might be possible.

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  2. Thanks... Way to keep the chuckles going. LOL...

    FL

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  3. Would it result in a phantom pregnancy?

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