Milestone: I'm Searchable on iTunes!

Don't want to have to click a stupid hyperlink just to find your favorite podcast in all the world on iTunes? Well, I'm now searchable! So, when you're looking for Inciting A Riot: the Podcast, just type in Inciting A Riot into your iTunes search browser.

I pop right up! Total coolness!!!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte
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Blessed Samhain/Happy Halloween/Enjoyable Saturday!

Have a happy Samhain and a safe Halloween.

Downside: I'm sick as all get out and no doctor will see me until Monday.

Upside: I'll be home for the trick-or-treaters!

Downside (again): I can't actually give out any candy as I am an incubus of viral plague.

Upside (again): I might convince my partner to go buy a big pumpkin and let me carve it into a Jack-O-Lantern! That would take my mind off of my aforementioned incubus-of-viral-plague-ness.

Samhain ritual for your BOS below.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte
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Samhain Blessing

Great Lord and Lady, blessed spirits who have passed, we welcome you this night.

Join our feast; take part and be guided on your journey.

We call on our ancestors, family, friends, elders, and cherished loved ones who have passed to guide us in the coming year.

We thank the Gods for the blessings given to us as we say farewell to the Old Year and welcome in the New.

Praise the Crone Goddess, sorrowful in Her mourning.

Praise the Aged God, Beloved of the Summerland.

Blessed Be!

Book Review: Cunningham's Book of Shadows: The Path of an American Traditionalist

I just finished Cunningham's Book of Shadows, and I must say I am rather disappointed. The territory covered in this much-anticipated book is nothing new. In fact, the majority of it seems to be either blatant cut & paste copies of his other books, or eerily similar information provided in his other texts. Some of the newer information, however, shows a side of Cunningham that was a little bit more embracive of the darker aspects of the craft, which is oddly a positive aspect.

In this BOS, Cunningham details information on bindings (Herbs, Plants, Flowers that Bind pg. 149) and cursing someone using poppet magic (To Destroy Another’s Power To Do Harm pg. 191) - though he recommends that you use this method, instead, to destroy aspects or weapons of that individual that would do you harm. This is nice to see from one of the most prolific authors of Paganism 101 texts, who has a decidedly ‘love and light’ bent in his teachings. Other taboo subjects that are touched upon are the Use of Baneful Herbs by Witches (pg. 199) and his love spells which can be found in nearly every chapter. While this book might not necessarily be intended for use by your average 101-er, it is most definitely written at least on a 102 level, and I’m glad that Llewellyn published a text that at least mentions that it’s ok to have darker or, rather, more direct methods of accomplishing your intent.

However, that’s about where my fascination with the text ends. Sure it’s pretty in its rare-for-Llewellyn hardbound cover, and a little kitschy in the fact that they included some supposed copies of Cunningham’s original manuscript, but that’s all just fluff to hide the fact that this is like a greatest hits listing of his other books. After the end of every single chapter reads a phrase that is something similar to “Excerpted from Other Book Title by Scott Cunningham.” And the areas of the book, which are supposedly brand new, are really just retreading similar 101/Llewellyn/Cunningham material (The Circle of Stones from Wicca: A Guide…, several chapters on correspondences and formulas which all seem to be torn from the pages of his three encyclopedias, etc.). While not true copies, they are most assuredly kissing cousins.  

Where I cannot forgive the book is the inclusion of utterly false information. Yet again, we have a widely read pagan author touting the idea of the Burning Times (pgs. 202-203), a war on actual Witches waged by the Church (pg. 107), and the notion that ancient Wiccans existed (pgs. 204-205 among others). All of the above has been proven false time and time again, yet massive pagan publishing houses still allow, and seem to insist upon including, this notion that 9 million women were burned at the stake for being God&Goddess-worshipping Wiccans that reincarnated from the magical folk of Atlantis. (Which, of course, Cunningham includes on pg. 205 along with his theory that witches are modern descendants of aliens that flew to this planet in silver needles and copulated with its inhabitants, creating the super-intelligent, super-magical society of Atlantis. Yes, that’s really in the book.)

Oh, and he also includes a Curse on pg. 77 which is supposed to be laid upon anyone that would “[release] the secrets of the Craft, such as are contained within this Book…” This seems a bit strange and hypocritical as he just published all of these supposed “secrets” for any Joe Shmo to pick up and peruse. Time and time again he talks about the sensitive nature of the information within the book and how it shouldn’t fall into the wrong hands. (I’m glad the publisher has this as an online-purchase-only book, as people could just pick it up in the bookstore and learn all the ancient Wiccan secrets.)

The book is redeemed in the aspect that not everyone that purchases it may also have purchased his other books. I would most definitely recommend buying the book if:

1.    You love Cunningham, like I do, and want to own pretty much everything he’s written. (Honestly, I do.)

2.    You’ve moved on from 101 texts to at least the 102 level of pagan books.

3.    You’re sound enough in your own beliefs that you can read this book and not take every word as gospel.

For a Cunningham lover, it’s a nice addition to your pagan library. However, it is not a must-buy if you already own his other encyclopedias and either of his Wicca textbooks. Also, I understand the publisher’s desire to include Cunningham’s full opinion and belief for his fans, but I am just not sure they should have included information that is known to be completely false and misleading.

Overall, it’s a 3-star, okay text that isn’t really something you need to buy unless you’re a diehard fan. Have you read it yet? If so, what was your opinion? Was I too harsh? Too lenient? Let me know!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Another reason to hate Wal Mart & I'm sick...again

Dying? Thinking about dying? Know anyone who might be dying? Or, maybe, do you just like a really good deal? Well, guess what strangeness is coming to an online WalMart store near you?

Caskets!

Ranging from the Lady de Guadalupe casket priced at $895 all the way up to the Sienna Bronze casket hocked for the everyday low price of $2,899! There are 14 styles to choose from, but I think my favorite is the coffin equivalent of a double wide, called the Regal Wide Bodied Steel Casket which boasts a 4" wider width than other standard caskets and reinforced swing handles. I'm trying not to make a joke out of this, as caskets can be a sensitive subject for other people. ...ok...Can't stand it anymore. I suppose that last style is for those of us that said, "When I die I want to be fat and happy rather than starving and miserable!" Who wants to put odds on owners of this model being cardiac patients? Really, you can't fit into a coffin?

In news that hopefully won't be related to this: I've come down with another bout of cold. The back of my throat is sore, I'm a little sniffly, and my body aches all over. I'm debating as to whether I should attempt working tonight. I could use the money, but we're doing ok enough to where I could take one day off and just make it up next week. I'll probably go in... Always need more money, and, unfortunately, the only way I can get it is to serve people food. I suppose inciting two different riots this week leads to a sore throat... Boo on colds!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Uber Cool!!! I've been published!

Quick note: I realize that I have already posted twice today, but this was just too cool and too exciting to keep to myself. Yours truly...has been published...on WitchVox.com! Or, rather, I will be published as of this Sunday. Don't believe me? Well, log on to WitchVox.com and scroll down until you come to the section titled Coming this Sunday... Once you do, you'll see this:

Yep, it's an expansion of the article My magic won't work! I wrote a while back. Make sure to look for it come this Sunday and let me know what you think!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Legislating Equality

Because I was a bit busy with other things - like tending a scratchy throat and attempting to get this podcast thing up and running - I neglected to post up an enormously important story. It's a follow up to the very recent article about the Matthew Shepard act being passed through both houses of Congress. While I could probably drone on and on about it, it would just be better to use the words of a Human Rights Campaign email I received yesterday:

Today, something extraordinary happened. Love conquered hate. After more than a decade, the inclusive hate crimes bill we've fought so hard for has been signed by the president and sealed in law.

I cannot overstate the importance of this moment. This is the first time ANY federal equality measure protecting LGBT rights has become law. The very first time. And it is the first federal law to explicitly protect transgender people. It is a touchstone in our movement, a triumph of what is right. And I truly feel things will never be the same....

Hate crimes legislation was the first piece of creating a safe environment for LGBT people – prohibiting workplace and military discrimination are the next. When LGBT people live in fear of violence or discrimination, we cannot be who we are. And when we must hide our true selves, we cannot change hearts and minds.

It took twelve years, over one million emails, faxes and phone calls to Congress, and 14 separate votes on the floors of the House and the Senate to turn the hate crimes bill into law. Right-wing groups opposed us ferociously until the very end; they knew having a pro-LGBT law on the books would be a game-changer, and it is.

It's a beautiful, astounding piece of news that I'm giddy to share with you. Almost a year ago we were simultaneously celebrating the historic election of Barack Obama while lamenting the passage of Prop. 8 in California. Today, we have a reason to believe that the country isn't completely steeped in backwoods thinking and moral legislation. The next move is to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell, and then, hopefully, give equal marital rights to loving, committed couples nationwide.

In news to keep an eye on: Joe Lieberman (Dem. Senator from Connecticut) has promised to attempt to halt any legislation involving a public option-inclusive health care bill. This flip-flopping, not-really-a-Democrat Democrat Senator needs to remember what party voted him into office and take a look at what the people of that party, and the citizens of the country, actually want. I know that he should vote his conscience, but he also represents the community, and if he chooses to vote against both of those interests, then he should be readying himself for a pink slip from Connecticut citizens.

Or, at least, that's what would happen in a fair world.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Inciting A Spooky Riot

Episode 2 of Inciting A Riot: the Podcast.  

Today, we're talking about Samhain and Halloween traditions and origins.  

The news headlines covered are: 1) George W. Bush is now a motivational speaker and 2) Hate Crimes legislation was signed into law! (Yeah!)  

The word of the day is luculent.  

The Spiritual Riot this episode is about Ouija board usage and how-to's.  

Contact, rate, or vote for the show with any of the following links:  

Podbean: http://FireLyte.podbean.com  
Podcast Alley: http://www.podcastalley.com/podcast_details.php?pod_id=86829  
iTunes: http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=337689333  
Blog: http://Fire-Lyte.blogspot.com  
RSS Feed: http://FireLyte.podbean.com/feed  

Love and Lyte,  

Fire Lyte

Samhain: A Sabbat Approaches!

As is typical around the time of a sabbat, I am here to share a bit of information about the much beloved, and much misunderstood, holiday. This is a really short run-down of the holiday of Samhain as I understand it to be. Feel free to copy it and use it in your own BOS, as this is word-for-word what I have in mine.

Also, a quick note, the podcast has only been out a day and already has 30 subscribers and one 5-star comment on iTunes. Thank you all so much for the warm reception into the podioverse. I suppose I'm officially one of the podkin now. Yippee!!! If you haven't done so already, subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or head over to the site at PodBean. Or, if you're not interested in surfing, the RSS feed is http://FireLyte.podbean.com/feed. Thanks again!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte
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Samhain

Date: Night of October 31^st

Also Called: Halloween, Michaelmas, Eve of All Saints, All Hallow’s Eve

Related Holidays: Festivals of Pamona and Fortuna (Rome), El Dia de Muerte – Day of the Dead (Mexico,

This Sabbat, considered by some to be the most important of the four greater sabbats, is not evil, but a time when the Great God dies or goes back under the earth and the Crone Goddess mourns him. The Crone Goddess should not be feared or reviled, for she is the Great Mother of us all; we all return to her cauldron of life, death, and Rebirth. 

The church has tried for centuries to demonize this tradition, but has failed greatly in squelching this day all together. The fearful emotions associated by many to this holiday are due greatly to the fear that the early church tried to instill in the masses.

The idea that evil spirits roam the earth in greater numbers on this night is not necessarily true. This idea is derived from the folk knowledge that the veil that separates this world from the next is thinnest on this night, and, depending on tradition, can either be traversed easily on your own, by the God or Goddess, or the dead can come back easier on this night.

While it is true that Good Spirits come back, there are still evil spirits in the world, and they can use the fear that’s been built up in this evening to cause harm. Thus, the practice of carving Jack-O-Lanterns and leaving candles in the windows of your home have become commonplace. These powerful talismans keep evil at bay. It is also a time for harmless pranks, feasting, merrymaking, and celebrating the Lord of Misrule – the personification of fun and hedonism at this time. He keeps the mood from becoming melancholic at this time of summer’s end.

When gathering with family and friends, remember to set an extra plate out with a candle to welcome any friendly spirits who might happen by. The meal can be simple, like bread and wine, or it can be a full serving of everything the family is feasting on that evening. Apples are considered the food of the dead in many countries, while chocolate is traditionally served on El Dia De Muerte. Of course, find what suits your tradition. Bonfires are traditionally lit to contain the energies of the God, light the dark night, ward off evil spirits, welcome in the New Year, purify the self and home, and be the subject of ritual. Divination is also a staple of the Samhain celebration; so, gather around tarot cards, tealeaves, or the fire itself and divine the happenings of the year to come!

George Tiller cannot rest

I have a sketch to sell you. It depicts David and Goliath, post the bloody decapitation of Goliath by the triumphant David. Except, in this sketch, Goliath is named Tiller. The body - missing its head - is labeled "child-murdering industry."

Will you buy it?

Well, if you're one of the far-right extremists that think Scott Roeder should be canonized, you certainly are snatching them up. Even more so, because the imprisoned, "alleged" murderer/"suspect" responsible for the assassination of Dr. George Tiller has signed the sketches in order to draw more money. All this cash is going to - you probably guessed it - Roeder's defense fund!

From a legal perspective, the prosecution really can just sit on their hands or play solitaire between now and the trial date and still win the case. Strangely enough, Roeder never entered a plea. He's not saying whether he believes he's guilty or...not guilty. Yet, he's bold enough to sign pictures cheering on the fact that he slaughtered a law-abiding citizen. Also strange, that I didn't realize, is that prosecutors in the case have opted not to go for the death penalty. Though, if they went for it, not only would they get it, but they would make this man a martyr. And that we do not need. There are already enough people that find him ethereal.

What do you think about this case? 


Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Inciting an Inaugural Riot

The inagurual episode of the Inciting A Riot podcast, a podcast with controversial topics in religion, politics, and modern life.

I start off by introducing you to who I am.

Today’s Religion topic is my definition of “Paganism.”

We talk about that passing of improved Hate Crimes legislation - known as the Matthew Shepard Act.

Today’s Poem is “Brooding in a Corner at Discount Tire.”

The word of the day is “inhere.”

Join the Riot at:

http://Fire-Lyte.blogspot.com

http://FireLyte.podbean.com

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Inciting A Riot: The Podcast

I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a lot to say. So much so that I've been thinking over the last weeks about expanding my presence online. It's not that I think my views are better than anyone else's - okay, maybe that's part of it - it's just that I would like to take what I say on the blog and reach a larger audience.

To do this, I'll be adding a podcast (to come out whenever I really care to record one) to the Inciting A Riot family of opinionated media outlets. It's over at Podbean, and can be found here. The first episode shall come very soon (hopefully within the next couple of days). So, look for me! As soon as iTunes picks it up, I'll post the link to the subscription. However, you can go ahead and vote my podcast up the ranks of the Religion and Spirituality section at Podcast Alley by clicking here!

The podcast will follow in the same vein as the blog, covering news, religion, and the lunacy of life. Inciting A Riot: The Blog will still be the home of everything me, including the podcast episodes. So, tune in and let me know what you think!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Shout Out: The Infinite and the Beyond

Chris Orapello over at the Infinite and the Beyond podcast gave this little blog a shout out on his latest episode concerning Black Magic. The episode is profound, deep, and extremely thorough - and rather appropriate considering all the Halloween hysteria that's going on right now.

Normally, at this point I would be posting up some response, since this is such a hot button issue, but Chris said all that I wanted to say, and much better than I could say it, I'm sure. I really recommend you check out his latest episode, which can be found here. He discusses the nature of evil, the balance of light and dark magic, the perception of magic by practitioners and non-practitioners, and rabbits.

Thanks Chris. Blessed be and 93.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Matthew Shepard Remembered and Passed

We have all heard the news that the improved Hate Crimes Act - known as the Matthew Shepard Act - has been passed by the House and the Senate and is now awaiting a swish of the pen by President Obama. (which would make it an official law) There is a lot of emotion behind the passing of this bill. For one thing, it has been 10 years since the killers plead guilty for the brutal death of Matthew Shepard. For another, this is one of the largest federally mandated civil rights legislations ever passed for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community.

Thank you, Congress, for finally protecting my rights.

For some technicals, there is something you should know about the Bill: it was going to be passed no matter what. The bill was attached, this past June, to the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010 as an amendment. We're in a war. This bill authorizes the use of a whole mess of money for the Department of Defense. They call this situation a "must-pass," meaning that combining the act with a necessary bill - typically defense money - guarantees its passage. Yes, that means that our long-awaited Hate Crimes legislation is all part of pork barrel politics.

This new legislation would add to the protections for crimes based on race, religion, nationality, and ethnicity with the following:

1. The Act also protects against crimes committed based on someone's gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. So it's good for more than just gay folks. If a rapist is raping you because you're a woman, that's a hate crime. If you're abused because it's funny to beat up on the wheelchair kid, that's a hate crime.
2. The act takes away the prerequisite that the victim must be engaging in a federally-protected activity such as voting in order for the offender to be prosecuted with a hate crime. Isn't this something you already thought was protected? So, even if someone was attacking a black man in his home simply for being black, it wasn't a hate crime. It was...a regular crime... Didn't know that. Went to school for this. Still didn't know that.
3. The act would provide $10 million in funding for 2008 and 2009 to help state and local agencies pay for investigating and prosecuting hate crimes.
4. The act would finally require the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to track statistics on hate crimes against transgender people. Other genders are already protected.

So, now we wait on President Obama to swish that pen...

Oh Mr. Obamaaaa...!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Another garden & A call for tips

I just can't stop trying to grow a garden. It's probably the earth-loving leanings, but there's just something about having my own little collection of herbs that I cared for that just makes me want to keep trying. Remember that gorgeous little herb garden I had going throughout the summer? Well, it died. All of it. Died. From a combination of too much water and too much shock from being moved several thousand miles.

And, because, my thumb - for all desires and wishes - just isn't very green.

So this is a one more time, because I haven't learned my lesson, and because I need to feel witchy, effort at having an herb garden. This time, however, it's indoors and I'm only giving the plants a little water once a week. Does anybody have any tips or tricks on how to keep plants thriving indoors? So far I have them in Miracle Gro Organic Potting Soil next to my big sliding glass doors facing south.

Oh, and I just got Cunningham's Book of Shadows in the mail. I'm going to try to power through the bulk of it this weekend and get you all a book review in the very near future. However, I will say the parts I've read through so far seem like most other Cunningham books. Enough good advice and ideas to merit buying it, but enough fluff and dogma that you need to not take every word as gospel. The rest is for another time.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Witchy Wearables and Quiet Mice

Yesterday, two of the strangest things happened. The first involved another server at Olive Garden telling me that I'm so quiet at work - like a mouse - that she hardly notices when I'm there. The odd thing about this occurrence is that it's the second server at OG that has told me I'm too quiet. When I called my parents to tell them about this news, each one, respectively, died laughing.

I was voted Most Talkative in high school. It should also be added that the category was added special for me my senior year by a friend of mine in yearbook, and my ENTIRE class voted on me unanimously. Except for me, of course. Needless to say, this has become a fast joke amongst my family. Partner actually said it would be nice if my work persona could show up at home. sigh

Also made of excellence yesterday was my trip to a shop called Witchy Wearables. Somehow, this shop has eluded me over the past 5 months. I have hunted far and wide, gone to great lengths, and I have finally found the most excellent pagan shop. This place has absolutely everything, and, yes, they even sell brooms. I've been having a shopping-gasm for the past 24 hours. I will actually be going back today. So, if you're in the Midlothian, IL area, pop on by Witchy Wearables. Morn, the shopkeeper, will welcome you with a big hug and show you around. They have really high quality merchandise at most excellent prices.

I bought a bloodstone, and am spending the rest of this morning adding it to my BOS. Most. Excellent.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Fox News is Conservative. Also, the sky is blue.

Ok... To keep it short and sweet: did we really all of a sudden wake up and realize that Fox News is full of idiots right-wing conservatives bent on selling a conservative agenda? I mean... Really? The White House is boycotting Fox News and wants others to disregard it as yet another wing of the Republican party. I'm sorry, I don't like Fox news either, but griping about the fact that they spin everything to look anti-left, anti-liberal, anti-Democrat is really old news.

A study done by the University of Maryland in 2003 showed how their misleading newscasts and spreading of misinformation created a population of people who were uninformed about the correct events of the Iraq War. However, the information they believed to be true swayed their opinion to be more favorable to the Iraq War, and by extension the "War on Terror." We've known about their tactics for a really long time. But now, the White House and Congressional Democrats  are calling out Fox as...conservative.

Shocking. 

I'm sorry. I am in no way defending Fox's inability to report anything other than right-wing propaganda, but that's their right. Also, everybody already knows that if you watch Fox, you're probably watching the conservative version of the truth. I tend to watch the Rachel Maddow show, because she leans to the left in her politics, talks about stories from a perspective I can relate to, and happens to be a lesbian. We have things in common. Well, except for the sex with women thing. Point is, I hunted for a news show that I could stand to watch. If President Obama doesn't like Fox news, maybe he could spend a few minutes surfing through the TV guide to find a program better suited to him. Or...I dunno, stop watching the news and get back to fixing the country.

It's like gay marriage. If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. Well, if you don't like Fox news...change the station.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Gospel in the Cauldron

I am over the moon about the new episode of the Wigglian Way in which Mojo and Sparrow discuss the aspect of the Goddess as the Crone. They also delve into the world of the Cailleach - a winter Goddess. The Wigglians are always so well-researched and insightful, and the episode was so much fun to listen to and somehow appropriate on this unbelievably GORGEOUS fall day.

Well, the episode was going along nicely, and I was loving the subject matter and then I was taken to church. Yep, I was having full-blown flashbacks to the very best of church-going experiences I had when I was younger and singing gospel hymns at the top of my lungs with the rest of the congregation. Those were the only times I really liked going to church. What brought me back to that space of praise and worship? An artist named Kellianna and her song "I walk with the Goddess." This woman can blow!

Usually pagan music really sucks. It's a lot of drumming, airy vocals or really awkward harmonies, bad recordings, and lyrics that make you want to pry your eardrums out and burn them with gasoline and a blowtorch. However, this song is well-produced, the lyrics are simple and lush, and the vocals...well...this woman can SING!!!!!!!! Please, oh please, listen to the song below. Her album is available on iTunes for less than $10. It is so worth it. Or, if you just want the single, buy it for .99.

Also, if you know of any other pagan music that doesn't suck, and that I can buy/sample on iTunes, let me know! If I like it, I'll share it with the world on the blog.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

The Mysterious Disappearing Chase Deposits

Backstory: I'm a server. My income is nearly solely cash-based. In order to keep a steady stream of money flow I deposit my daily earnings immediately upon leaving the Olive Garden building. I bank at Chase.

The Gripe: For the past two Saturday nights in a row (last night included) the cash deposit I've made has not shown up. Not only that, it's taken a call to Chase claims department to get the money to appear.

The Theory: The Chase website has been having "scheduled maintenance" each time I was making a deposit. For some reason the site maintenance is interfering with my deposit's appearing.

The Gripe (2): HOW IN THE FRIGGIN HELL CAN JPMORGAN CHASE BANK RUN A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY, CREATE ATMS THAT DO EVERYTHING BUT WIPE YOUR ASS FOR YOU, AND ACTUALLY BE AN INTEGRAL PART OF BAILING OUT THE AMERICAN FINANCIAL SYSTEM AND NOT BE ABLE TO UPDATE MY ACCOUNT BALANCE?!?!

Has this ever happened to you? If so, what did you do about it? Did it ever get fixed? I'm really getting pissed. I mean... They're fixing the problem through the claims department, but the point of the bank is that they keep your money for you so that you can use it whenever you're good and ready.

Now I shall digress so that I can wish you...

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Slamtastic: Satan Spandex Speedo

If you'll recall a while back I posted up a poem titled Satan Spandex Speedo. Well, I present for your listening pleasure a slam performance version of that poem by yours truly. (aka Me!) Words are below so you can follow along. Let me know what you think!



Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

                        Satan Spandex Speedo

I heard a rumor when I was a kid

that I first took to be a joke.

In time, and with a bit of experience,

I came to believe that this rumor – like

the one about Earth having a round belly –

might actually be true.

This truth, if true, is both basic

and baffling, but comforting in its simplicity.

Spandex, especially Speedo spandex, never,

come hell, high water,

or Hooter’s-buffalo-wing-induced gut,

never loses its shape.

Its squeeze if you will.

A truth, simple enough, and one that has been proven

time and again…sadly.

On a band trip, yes I said band

as in marching

as in a plume on my head

countermarch, countermarch, KICK

band trip to some Splashy McWaterpark

it was proven both by the man who’d never left the gym

and the man who’d never gone.

The latter’s banana hammock – well…

Twinkie hammock to be more factual –

clinging so tightly it seemed a sign from God that

miracles still happen,

for the seams held better than any of Jericho’s walls.

Time and again, the wonders of the spandex Speedo

never ceased to amaze (and horrify) until…

Sunday. The gym.

The man in the lap pool.

The man in the lane inches away from mine.

The man whose hair that seemed to have

become so frightened of his head,

it had taken refuge on every other square inch

of his Rubenesque body.

The man who, like metal enduring summer and winter,

had apparently expanded and contracted

swelled up and deflated

so many times that his spandex Speedo had, too,

finally deflated.

Like the flaccid remains of a popped,

yet previously over-inflated balloon

the front of his too-tight shorts hung low and disconnected

knowing they had finally lost the Battle

of the Bulge.

This sight would have been funnier

had every other stroke of my arms through the water

not forced a mouthful of hairy, Speedo-killer essence straight

to the back of my throat.

As such, it made me realize that the wonders of this incredible material

could never have been a miracle,

for no god would have ever deigned to create

such a vile, evil thing.

No, this was the Devil’s work.

In desperation, I quietly made a crucifix over the water,

hoping the now-holy pool would

bless the fright away, but to no avail.

This was beyond the realm of that which

holy blessing can cure.

No demon could be cast out of the sagging

black and green beast.

I ran to the shower, instead, hoping soap

would scrub the evil off.

I think it worked.

I hope it worked.

Just in case, though, I’ll be attaching

garlic, a wooden stake, a silver cross,

and a picture of Joan Rivers to my swimsuit.

Surely one of those things will keep the evil at bay.

If not, well, I’m sure I can go without exercise.

I hear fat is the new thin.

Or, at least, that’s what the John Goodman exercise book I just bought says.

Paranormal Activity and Ouija Boards

Partner and I - and 9,000 other people - went to go see the movie Paranormal Activity last night. I was not feeling well, as last night was the third night of this cold thing that I've come down with, but I enjoyed the film. There were perhaps 2 times when I had to put my hand on Partner's forearm, but overall I thought it was a really enjoyable film. The rest of the auditorium spent a vast amount of the movie screaming and cowering into their neighbor's arm.

If you haven't seen the movie, I can honestly recommend this as a genuinely creepy, well-researched film about a demonic possession. The creator of the film spent at least a year researching ghosts, demonology, and the supernatural in general in order to create a realistic film. He did a great job, as I could see 95%-98% of the movie as quite plausible. (Except for the ending shown in theaters. Perhaps one of the other endings would push that towards the 100% mark.) Of course, one of the points brought up in any possession movie worth its salt is the idiot guy who just needs to have a conversation with the spirit/entity - this is after door slammings, footprints found on the floor, and a strange picture found in the attic. What does he use? A Ouija board, of course!

I would now like to share a few notes on Ouija boards that have all come from my personal experience or research. I actually own a Ouija board, and I have no qualms about using it on an appropriately spooky occasion with interested friends. It's not a form of divination or spirit contact that I use on a regular basis, but I feel a lot of the myths surrounding this talking board need to be addressed:

1. A Ouija board, like any divinatory tool, does NOT have any intrinsic powers. It needs a user to give power to the working, just like Tarot cards or Runes. The planchette (pointer) isn't moving around on it's own in the box.
2. The boards are NOT a gateway or an open door to the spirit world, the world of demons, or any other plane of existence. Again, it is only a tool of divination and spirit contact.
3. A Ouija board IS a simple cardboard board with a printed piece of paper glued to it manufactured by Milton Bradley. Like anything else, it is your belief and energy that gives and credence or power to the process of communication.
4. Spirit boards do NOT always work! Because of the other three points, it should be stressed that every time you sit down to the board may not result in an actual contact experience. Just like when doing any other divinatory reading, you may not get that strong connection you hope for.

So, please people, stop freaking out about Ouija boards. Stop telling people how evil they are. It has been my experience that the only time you're going to talk to someone is if you gather with a few friends and firmly call out to that person. Doing this, my friends and I have had a lot of really positive experiences that left a lot of us with a sense of peace. A few guidelines:

1. I would only ever invite spirits into my home after preparing a protective circle. Set this up however you want, but I do 4 candles with corresponding elemental objects or stones.
2. Each of us has one person we contact. We make a list of the individuals we want to contact along with physical descriptions of each, and then that loved one calls out to the person on the other side. So, if I wanted to specifically talk to my paternal great-grandmother I would tell everyone I wanted to contact (her full name), provide as close to a physical description of her as possible (so everyone can get a good visualization), and then simply ask her to join us.
3. If and when a spirit begins to get hostile, or an uninvited spirit pops in, we immediately join hands and explicitly tell that entity to leave and that they are completely unwelcome. This puts up an immediate wall against the spirit and forces it back to where it came from. And, with a circle in place, the entity cannot go anywhere else, so it must be forced back.
4. Always always always purify and cleanse your house afterwards, and be careful before you take your circle down. I usually have a small spell that I say to open a portal to summon spirits and another spell to close the gateway. Then I burn either white sage, frankincense, sweet grass, or a combination of all three (depending on the experience) to cleanse the area. I take the circle down by blowing the candles out and then proceed to use the incense throughout the house...just to be safe.

Following a few simple guidelines and rules can lead to a really fun, spooky, interesting, and safe Ouija board experience. The risks are the same with any magical/meditative practice. But, if you're careful, and don't just dabble without sound research, you can have a lot of fun! Enjoy, and let me know how it goes!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Rick Perry: A really dumb governor

Let's dispense with reality for a moment and say that you have complete control over life, employment, and, to a lesser extent, fate itself. What would you do if you could bend situations to your will? If your words could remove your obstacles or put people to death?

Unless you've been living under a rock, which might not be the worst place to live right about now, you've heard something about Rick Perry lately. Over the summer he was the redneck governor of the Bible belt's belt-buckle, hooping and hollering in front of a crowd of sheeple about Texas' need to secede.

Well, now Governor Perry is getting some heat for putting the kibosh on an investigation into the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham. The issue here is this: Cameron Willingham was a low-level criminal, guilty of abusing his wife and cursing worse than any sailor. He wasn't a poster child for anything socially mainstream. In 1991, there was a house fire that killed his three daughters. Supposedly, there was evidence to prove Willingham committed arson which led to those three deaths, and the state of Texas put him to death in 2004. His last words proclaimed his innocence and that the state knew it.

Flash forward to 2009 when a now-candidate Rick Perry is facing a possible removal from office through the 2010 election of his rival Kay Bailey Huthison. In this year, the Texas Forensic Science Commission decided to look into the evidence used to convict Willingham. Two days before the Commission was to review a nationally known fire expert, who believes that there was absolutely no evidence of arson, Rick Perry fired and replaced the chairmen and two other members. The new chairmen halted the investigation (presumably at Perry's behest).

You see where this is going, right? Texans are really, really pro-death penalty. The joke is that Texas is the drive-thru death penalty state. Rick Perry isn't interested in making sure justice is done so much as he looks tough on crime, especially a criminal whose history is far less than stellar. However, what would have happened if the commission had found that the man was wrongly executed? He would have just been another tick mark in the long list of innocent individuals who have been wrongly executed. I honestly doubt this would have made national headlines, which is pretty pathetic, but true.

Long story short, this man needs to be put out to pasture. It's very nearly time for someone else to take the reins away from the most secretive governor Texas has seen in a really long time. Even W allowed the media access to documents prior to an execution, the ones proving the person's guilt. But, not this guy. He keeps them under wraps, under a supposed cloak of attorney/client privilege.

Texas, vote someone else into office. This man is making the stigma of the ill-educated redneck who doesn't care about facts and raises a shotgun at every sudden movement into a national calling card. He likes it. He embraces it. Please, oh please, inject some modern intelligence back into the Texas political climate.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

California Marriage Protection Act

An utterly brilliant man named John Marcotte, founder of the site BadMouth.net, is attempting to drum up support for something he's calling the California Marriage Protection Act. His official site for the project is RescueMarriage.org.

The law would make divorce illegal in the state of California. Why would anybody in the world want to make divorce illegal? Well, if marriage is so friggin wonderful, and such a sacred institution, then straight people should have to stay married...right? I mean, if it's such an exclusive club, then it should come with a lifetime required membership.

If marriage weren't cheapened by the ability to jump in an out of it, maybe people would learn to work through their problems. The point is genius. I honestly hope he gets this approved for a vote. The ad for the bill is below.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

PS. I absolutely LOVE BadMouth.net article on the Top 5 Republican Gay Sex Scandals! Check it out.

My magic won't work!

If you're a person that's ever picked up a book on Paganism 101, spell-casting, etc. then you've heard a variation of the basics of magic. In most books, the following things must occur to create a successful spell:

1. The intent. This is what you want to happen.
2. The tools. These are the basic items you're using to set up your spell.
3. The words. The words of power you're saying.
4. The visualization. The clear image in your head of your intended end result.

You also tend to hear, read, or otherwise come to the warning that "Magic always works, but not always in the way you intend it to." The best example of this is wishing for money, then you come into an inheritance after your mother passes away suddenly. However, there's a problem with this logic. This kind of example implies that your simple money spell somehow turned into a death curse aimed at your mother.

Here's a tip from me to you: THIS. CAN'T. HAPPEN.

I disagree that magic always works. I believe that every time you perform spells you expend some sort of energy, but if magic always worked a heck of a lot more people would be winning the lottery. The problem, I think, that a lot of people have is that they don't honestly know what they want to happen. Sure, someone might perform a True Love Spell, but they don't have any honest concept for what qualities their true love should have.

In this example, you might have a person that continues to buy the pink and red candles, and the right herbs, and saying all sorts of combinations of words, and praying to every love deity they can Wikipedia, but they can never find love. We must be clear, concise, and simple in our ideas. Have you ever noticed that your spells for the simplest things are the ones that manifest quickest? It's because you know exactly what it is that you want to happen. You know exactly what tools you need, and you say simple, clear words of power. Like, wanting tomorrow's weather to be clear and sunny. You have a concept of "clear sky" and "sunny." I actually made a very long list of the qualities that I felt my partner should have. It took me a while, and I made sure to not be unrealistic, but not too conservative either. Within a year of making that list, I met my partner of 3 1/2 years.

The problem comes when you're talking about esoteric, abstract concepts like "love" or "wealth." Get at the root of what you want. You may not want to be wealthy, or even well-off, but you may want to be comfortable with a little money left over at the end of the month for savings. (That was my goal.) So, stop performing money spells, and write down exactly what life situation you want to be in. Likewise, you can quit performing spells to draw a lover and replace them with a clearly written petition to the universe of the qualities that you want to find in another person.

However, you may find that you don't have enough money, because you keep spending too much. Or, you may have trouble dating, because you tend to be abrasive or self-loathing. Make sure that before you do spells of any kind, that you've prayed and meditated on the matter. Perhaps your higher power has been telling you to save more, invest, spend less, carpool to conserve gas, or whatever. Listen to those words! Those feelings are there to help you.

On a slightly different note, I've been asked on occasion to perform bindings, banishments, or curses for people. Rarely do I ever oblige the request, but when I feel that their situation merits some magical self-defense, I help where I can. Only a couple of times in my life have I performed an outright curse, and only once has it ever worked. The reason is this: the first time I was performing a curse, it was for me. The second time it was for someone else. Curses are spells that require a lot of energy, a lot of very personal energy, and emotion that someone who is not directly involved with the situation simply doesn't have. So keep in mind, if you ever ask someone else to perform magic for you, they don't have the same connection to the situation that you have. They cannot clearly imagine, as you could, what you want to happen, exactly how you want it.

What do you think about the nature of magic? Am I wrong? Right? Let me know!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Grocery Rituals and Dogmas

Today was grocery day at my house. Partner and I made a small list, and I went in search of food and food-related products at the great Grocery Overlords (Wal Mart). I love grocery shopping. I used to really hate it when I was younger, because there's only so many things you can stare at in the toy aisle. But, since I've been building my own household the past few years, I truly love it. I can honestly understand why it's so easy for women to become soccer moms. There's something so honest and enjoyable about doing these little rituals (see how I bring it back to the topic?).

There is definite beauty, of a certain kind, in selecting the best Roma tomato or in comparing the different brands of canned peas to get the best deal. Personally, I get a list, grab a buggy, and bliss out browsing the aisles of fruits, storage bins, bargain priced candles, kitchenware, and whatever happens to be on sale at the time. But then...the real treat is at the end of shopping. This is where the rituals of grocery shopping really occur.

Typically, grocery day occurs on the day when the pantry is running pretty low - except, lately, for the shelves of my freezer. So, I always treat myself to a Mountain Dew, as I hardly ever drink soda anymore, and a quick trip through a drive-thru fast food chain. It's like a reward for buying a bunch of healthy food.

On a slightly different note: Do you notice that there are some items that you continue to buy more of, because it really seems like a good idea? Or, you honestly believe that you need more of the item, but you just know that you have some at home? Why do we do this?! My thing is frozen chicken breasts and those bags of frozen vegetables that you can heat up in the microwave. Oh, and those wonderful boxes of quickly made scalloped potatoes. I NEVER COOK THIS STUFF! Yet, I have a freezer full of them, and a whole shelf devoted to potatoes. For the next week, I'm committing to eating this food.

Starting tomorrow.

What are your grocery stories?

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Obama speaking to the HRC

(from an email I received this morning)

Today, thousands of people are marching on Washington to demand LGBT equality.

And last night, President Obama told LGBT Americans that his commitment to ending discrimination in the military, in the workplace and for loving couples and their families is "unwavering". He made it crystal clear that he is our strongest ally in this fight, that he understands and, in fact, encourages our activism and our voice even when we're impatient with the pace of change.

And we heard unequivocally about the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell: "I am working with the Pentagon, its leadership and members of the House and Senate to end this policy. I will end Don't Ask, Don't Tell. That is my commitment to you."

Finally, we heard something quite remarkable from the President: "You will see a time in which we as a nation finally recognize relationships between two men and two women as just as real and admirable as relationships between a man and a woman.

It was an historic night when we felt the full embrace and commitment of the President of the United States. It's simply unprecedented.

In the days and weeks ahead we'll move quickly to capitalize on this momentum. But right now, please watch what President Obama had to say, share this email with your friends, and know that your commitment means that we're much closer to attaining real equality and protecting millions of Americans:

http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/site/Ecard?ecard_id=1061

Thank you for being part of this historic fight with us.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize

And you kind of have to wonder why. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE Obama fan. Though I think he's taking his sweet time in working on certain issues such as DOMA, he's a wonderful breath of fresh air. But, it was just announced on television that Barack Obama, President of the United States for a solid 9 months, won the Nobel Peace prize.

The committee's reasoning was, "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future." In other words, and this is what Charles Gibson echoed on ABC News, they gave him this award based on his promise as a world leader. Nobody, not even the President, is disillusioned to the fact that this award is a gesture, a symbol, in praise of the small amount of work he's accomplished (I mean, he got Russia to agree to a nuclear disarmament policy...), and the hopes that he'll do so much more.

He said in a Rose Garden speech this morning that he felt "humbled" and that he felt he did not deserve this award. He also reminded us that the aspirations he has that won him the award cannot be achieved by one leader, or even in one lifetime. (Such as nuclear disarmament.)

However, winners in the past include Martin Luther King, Jr., the 14th Dalai Lama, Elie Wiesel (Holocaust survivor), and Mother Theresa... They all had accomplished something huge by the time their prize was awarded. I'm not positive that awarding someone the Prize in this manner is unprecedented, but it is certainly a surprise. Let's just hope that Obama can actually live up to the worldwide expectations heaped upon his shoulders now. But, be sure that the right-wing is drumming up a swarm of liberal, peace & love-hating media coverage, bombarding the American populace with more ideas about how Obama is a celebrity rather than a politician. This could very easily hurt him.

So... What do you think? Was the award deserved? Should the Nobel committee be giving prizes based on promises and hopes, or should the award have gone to someone with a bit more accomplishments under their belt?

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

The Bible is too Liberal ...?

Have you ever thought that the supreme vengeance and almighty wrath depicted in the Bible was a little too muddled down by flowery, egalitarian language? Perhaps you thought that when Jesus took a couple of loaves of bread and some fish and fed a huge multitude of people, it was really a subversive liberal message of some kind. Well, dears, your prayers to Yahweh have been heard. Conservapedia (the right-wing, ultra-conservative, Christian fanatic response to Wikipedia) has taken on what they call the Conservative Bible Project, which, according to them, will seek to correct the "Liberal bias [that] has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations."

Yes. What's going through your head right now should be a mixture of confusion and nausea. Or, at least, that's what I'm experiencing. Their guidelines for rewriting the Bible are:

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

I, personally, thoroughly enjoy the 10th Conservative Commandment. We shall not call our God by His name, because that just confuses the masses and adds to the liberal agenda. I could really go on with the various silliness that the project attempts to legitimize - like the socialist agenda of the Bible - but I'll digress. It should be noted that Conservapedia is a project of Andy Schlafly, son of Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly. The Schlafly family and their pet projects are aggressively opposed to feminism, abortion and pro-choice movements, non-Christians, people that don't speak English, vaccinations (I know, right?), and they really hate sex education in the school systems. I actually used them in a study I did for my senior thesis on early childhood sexuality, tolerance, and criminality. Oh, and they really, really, REALLY hate gay people. So, it should only be natural that the very book they base their entire empire of intolerance and hatred would, eventually, be found to be too damn liberal.

I have no problem with the Bible, Christianity, Jesus, or any problem with the faith whatsoever. It's people like the Schlafly's that I take very serious issue with. These are the kinds of people who ruthlessly oppose evolution - literally and figuratively - of the populace. In an age where people's eyes are finally opening, and we're actually on the verge of gaining civil liberties and rights never before thought possible, it is people like these that go on television and the internet and any other media outlet available and scare people shitless. The gays are out to get us! The liberals are out to eat your babies! Pagans are responsible for 9/11! I mean, they actually advertise on their home page that atheists, and other non-Christians, give less to charities than Christians.

And, sadly, there are people that gobble this stuff up, these scare tactics that are quite baseless, as though it were water. This is the country in 2009. We're in 2009. Not 1809 or 1609 or 1109 or 0009... 2009. Would somebody please facebook, or myspace, or twitter, or email, or text message, or fax, or call, or telepathically let them know what year it is?!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

P.S. Yeah for news articles!!!!